The “best” sex positions are those that allow both you and your partner to experience the greatest pleasure and come to an orgasm. Seems obvious, right? But it’s amazing how many otherwise intelligent people totally miss this point.
Men are often guilty of wanting to perform the kind of athletic, acrobatic, frequently-changing “sex position” style of intercourse they see in their favorite porn thinking that a woman will be impressed by their stamina and creativity, while women are often guilty of going along with what the guy wants in hopes that he’s taken their pleasure into account as well.
Best Sex Positions vs. The Wrong Sex Positions
Unfortunately this doesn’t usually happen. Some men are totally clueless and think only of how to get to their own orgasm as quickly as possible, while others want to please their partners but erroneously think this means “performing well” by keeping their erection going as long as possible.
Neither works well because both have forgotten the golden key to great sex – and that’s great communication. And I’m not only going to lay the blame at men’s feet here, many women are still too shy and inhibited to speak up and tell the guy exactly what they need in order to feel pleasure and reach an orgasm during intercourse, often because they don’t really know.
With this in mind let’s take a look at the top three sex positions and look at how they can bring a woman greater pleasure. Men if you find that it’s difficult to keep your erection while bringing a woman to orgasm first, then try bringing her close to an orgasm with your hand or orally first before beginning intercourse.
Woman on Top Sex Position
Since a large majority (60-85% depending on which poll you read) of women don’t orgasm from plain old intercourse alone I’m going to put the position that puts women in charge of what goes on first… and ladies you definitely need to step up to bat and learn how to be in the driver’s seat for this one.
Some women don’t like to be “on top” because they feel the man gets to be too lazy and only has to lay back and watch the show. You can remedy this by having the man sit up against pillows so that it’s far easier to kiss and the woman can feel more engaged with the man. The woman really does need to set the pace with this position since she’s the one with the greatest range of motion possible.
If she needs greater clitoral stimulation than this position normally gives her she should arch forward and do more of a grinding motion that thrusting so that her clitoris will be rubbing up against the man pubic bone. If she needs even more stimulation she should be brave and use her own fingers to stimulate herself while finding a rhythm that works for you both. The man can add even greater stimulation by caressing the sensitive undersides of her buttocks, or stroking her back door (make sure she’s well lubricated) or even inserting a finger into her anus (but ask permission first).
Doggy Style Sex Position
What man doesn’t love this position? It’s easy as pie and he gets to watch his dick going in and out, which is at the top of his list for “Things I’d like to do today.” For many women it’s a favorite position because it can be great for G-spot stimulation, and for fantasizing. For many women, however, the depth of penetration means he men can actually hit the cervix. Some women enjoy that, but many find it painful.
The key to successful doggy style intercourse again is communication. Just as the head of a man’s penis is the most sensitive, the first third of a woman’s vagina is the most sensitive and the G-spot isn’t down deep at the back, it’s on the front wall about a third of the way down (though it varies woman to woman) so you need to communicate with your lover to find the right thrust that works for her.
Also, the G-spot often needs a lot of stimulation before it “wakes up” so you need to either go down on a woman first orally and make sure she’s either had an orgasm already, or is pretty darn close, or you need to reach your hand around and give her plenty of clitoral stimulation at the same time to make sure she’s enjoying things the way you are.
The problem man and women have with doggy style is that it feels very impersonal. To make her feel more connected try a couple variations on the theme such as rear entry while you’re both on your knees, or standing, in front of a mirror so that there’s plenty of eye contact and you both get the visual stimulation of seeing exactly what’s going on – and guys don’t be lazy, unless a woman tells you otherwise, reach your hand around and give her clitoris the stimulation it needs.
Missionary Sex Position
Yes, the old standard is still a favorite for many couples because it’s one of the most intimate, but again this position only works for both parties with good communication.
The CAT or coital alignment technique is a way to make sure you’re lined up to give her clitoris the stimulation it needs to get its groove on. To get into position the man slides forward from his normal resting place so that the woman’s clitoris is receiving stimulation from the base of the man’s penis, with his legs resting outside of hers instead of inside. Then rather than using a thrusting motion like you’d normally engage in the woman initiate a more gentle rocking motion, making sure her clitoris is getting the stimulation it needs. The man should push down gently counter resisting the woman’s upward motion.